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"Their online store is a nightmare: it's like the nightmare an actual online store would have, it's like if an online store were looking into a mirror while its fucking face melted away and the only thing that could staunch this horror was the eventual liquefaction of its optic nerve." - Penny Arcade Wisdom |
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A girl asked me the other day where Nicaragua was and I said 'Central America'. She said "Oh so it's like around Kansas somewhere?" I see a brass pole and body glitter in her future...
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Don't blame me if you can't get a decent job. I purchased a perfectly good pair of boobs for you, and if you don't know how to use them then I suggest you consult a good hooker for some pointers. |
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I wonder if he finds it difficult to be a prick with EVERY SINGLE FUCKING BREATH? Does he go home to his wife and say "Sorry honey, I'm too tired for sex tonight...I'm exhausted from being a prick all day long." |
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"When I need a new password I let my daughter go fucking crazy nuts on the keyboard. And then I say whos my little hash function? Who is it? She knows who." - Penny Arcade on Strong Encryption Techniques |
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Yes, you're correct. The new dress code does in fact put me in the proper mood. The last time I dressed like this I was attending a funeral. |
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The rapes will continue until morale improves. |
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The frequency at which I post new quotes is inversely proportional to the amount of regular trim I get. |
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Listen, I know that you've made mistakes in the past. I'm different though...I'd be your favorite mistake. |
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"My policy, succinctly stated, has been Fuck You, Fuck That Guy Over There, And Then Fuck Every Other Person when it comes to people and their incredible opinions. A young man at my high school once detailed his unique position the configuration of my hair, and I told him I would kill him, and did not leave the methodology to his imagination. I'm not saying it was the best hair ever, but seriously. Go fuck yourself." - More Wisdom from Penny Arcade |
